Choosing solo motherhood does not mean choosing isolation.
As soon as I realized this was my path, I began looking for resources. I love podcasts and audiobooks, and it did not take long to realize I needed to narrow my focus. It is easy to consume endless content. I wanted education and affirmation, but I also needed space to hear my own thoughts.
I began listening to Single Greatest Choice and Motherhood Reimagined. Hearing women share their stories was grounding. These were high-achieving, spiritually aware women choosing motherhood without a romantic partner. There was no bitterness. No villainizing men. Just clarity.
I was surprised at how calm the stories were.
Even women who did not have built-in support systems figured out how to create support. They joined groups. Built online communities. Hired help. Asked for what they needed. It felt practical. Ordinary. Thoughtful.
There was very little charge around it. No one was playing the victim. No one was operating from scarcity. The women speaking were empowered. They were making deliberate decisions about their lives.
It gave me comfort to know I was not alone in thinking this way or making this decision. Even though I was not speaking to them directly, I felt a sense of community. What once felt like a private concept became something women had been choosing for decades.
They shared everything. Their backgrounds. Their support systems. How they came to the decision. What their IUI or IVF journeys looked like. Failed attempts. Success on the first try. Pregnancy. Birth. Parenting.
I felt uplifted.
One recurring theme stood out: “I wish I had done it sooner.” For some women, the process took years. Of course there is divine timing, but the practical takeaway for me was this: choose a time that is not too early if pregnancy happens quickly, but not so late that multiple cycles or years of trying leave you depleted or limited in your options. This helped me understand a timeline that would fit for me.
As I began sharing my intention with friends and colleagues, they started connecting me with other women on a similar path. Someone always seemed to know someone who had pursued solo motherhood. I was surprised by how common it actually was. In one case, a friend of a friend was already in my own phone contact! It suddenly felt like a much smaller world and a much more accessible path. Being able to talk through where each of us is in the process has only added to my excitement.
Most of my long-term friends are mothers to multiple children. I will always have them as a resource. And it has been equally powerful to meet women choosing motherhood without romantic partners.
I am intentional about making that distinction. I may be pursuing solo motherhood, but I will not be parenting in isolation. I will definitely have partners in this journey. My mother. My siblings. My friends. My community.
I grew up in a single-mother household. My mother normalized the need for a village. Solo parenting is not foreign or frightening to me because I have seen it modeled with strength and support.
In many ways, I will have more resources than she did. Financially. Emotionally. Structurally. That gives me a deep sense of security.
I continue seeking connections with women either virtually, through podcasts, or locally. The more I talk about it, the more connections I make. The more supported I feel. This path may be independent, but it is not alone.
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